Welcome to Ending My Affair! There is a long history behind this support community.

The book was written by me (Dr. Miner) when my best friend of 10 years admitted to me that she had been involved with a married man for 3.5 years and I never knew! We talked on the phone every day, worked out together 3 or 4 times a week, and I never knew. I’ve since learned that this is a common “secret” that women keep from their friends and family.

My friend declared, “I want to write a book and warn other women not to do this. This was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my life.”  While her message was compelling, she was but one in a million women with the same story. So we decided to write the book from the perspective of all women – not just my friend. (By the way, while she co-authored the book with me, she used a pseudonym.)

We advertised for volunteers to help us compile data on how these extramarital relationships start and, ultimately, end:

• how did you meet?
• how long did it last?
• did you ever (truly) believe he would leave his wife?
• who ended it, finally (usually the woman, not the lover)
• how many attempts at ended it did it take (almost always more than one!)

The responses we got from our survey were astounding! Our phone started ringing at 7:30a on the first day our ad appeared in major US paper.  Responses, surveys, and heart wrenching stories continue to pour in to our office still – 13 years after the book was originally published.

Finally, we come to today, and the intent of this site.  Most women involved with a married man have no support system – they have not told their friends and family of the relationship due to the stigma that is attached with being the “other woman.”  So when you are ready to end your affair, who do you talk to? Who do you gather support from? That’s where we come in.

We understand where you are coming from. Our research supports that you are a smart, accomplished, capable woman. You truly believe(d) that you are in a commited relationship but that “circumstances” have prevented you from being with your lover full-time. And yet, as the years have progressed, there has been no progress toward leaving his wife or his current lifestyle.

The truth of the matter is – if your relationship has gone on for more than a year – he is NOT going to leave his wife. He has figured out a way to make it work.  He is not the one in pain – you are. And only people in pain take action to change their lives.

So, are you ready to take action? You CAN do it! And we’re here to support you.