Ending My Affair

Front page article on affairs – USA Today, today

Dr. Miner — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 19:53:59 +0000

Wow. The website Ashley Madison has hit the big time (if you ask us) Their website, which unabashedly allows married men to find willing women to have affairs with them, has landed a front page article in USA Today.

While the article does discuss other sites that enable affairs (there are 33 according to the article!) Ashely Madison is the clearly the focus of the article.
The owner, Noel Biderman, states that the day after Valentine’s Day is traditonally their busiest day of the year. He says that disappointed spouses look for other sources of attention (and he clearly defines it as attention – not love!) when Valentine’s Day doesn’t turn out to be what they had hoped.

Interestingly, Valentine’s Day happens to be one of the busiest times of year for us, at Ending My Affair, too. Don’t you find that odd? There is a spouse that is not satisfied and looks FOR an affair. There is “another woman” who is not satisfied and looks to END her affair knowing that her lover is never going to be “the one” for her.

Just makes you think.

We wish EVERYONE a happy valentine’s day. And hope that most importantly, you love yourself.

Tables are turned

diamond7 — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 19:34:32 +0000

Is anyone out there been in my situation: I am married, I was 50/50 in starting an affair almost 6 years ago and I ended it this June. I am having a really hard time dealing with this.

What do I do.

justme — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 19:20:43 +0000

I am currently involved in an affair that I know is wrong we are both married. He is my boss we work in a small office only 3 of us total and I spend 5 hrs a day alone with him so it was very easy to get attached and form a relationship. It started so simple and subtle, I knew I cared for him but it was just like you care for a friend, or so I thought. Our relationship started slow we did not just jump into bed in fact we still have not had sex. It started slow with a back rub, a kiss on the cheek and then one day he asked if he could kiss me, I told myself its just a kiss lets just see how it feels. It was a powerful kiss didn’t expect to get a kiss that would make me feel so connected, so desired, and aroused. So our realtionship moved pretty fast from there. I tried once in the midst of it to stop it, tell him we should not do this, but of course I could not keep my hands off him either so that attempt went out the window. Of course as with most intimate relationships emotions grew stronger and I now love him and he said he loves me,< this just happened a few days ago we talked all day about what life would be like if we were together married. At the end of the day we decided maybe we should end this give our marriages we were currently in a chance before we make any life altering decisions or get caught so I went home crying with a broken heart but I knew it was what had to be done. Well that did not last long the next day we talked again and decided to keep it simple no sexual connection, as if that made it easier. I think I love him more now. There are more than a few snags though for one he is 22 yrs older than me so (my dads age), his wife is a little crazy and I would honestly fear for what she would do to him if he asked for a divorce. I know he wants a divorce with or without me I have known that for a while the marriage is on the rocks. My marriage on the other hand has always been a good marriage, we have 2 wonderful kids together we have never had any big issues in our marriage. My husband is good to me we are intimate with eachother and emotionaly connected. Thats why I can not figure this out I have always thought myself to be a faithful person and I love my spouse yet this still happened. What to do now how to end the affair? There really is no way I can have both so I have to end the affair it’s what is right so why don’t I want to why do i make up stupid excuses to make CHEATING ok…….??????? Whats my problem? Please help any advice is much appreciated.

I did it. I ended it.

justme — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 19:19:02 +0000

Very good! We are proud of you!
- Dr Miner

BOO on Valentine’s Day

Dr. Miner — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 22:30:51 +0000

This is it.
This is the month that makes or breaks a lot of relationships founded in an affair with a married partner.

If this is the month that you say ENOUGH is ENOUGH – we are here to support you!

Take 50% off the download price of our book This Affair is Over this month only.

That’s right. HALF PRICE.

Use the coupon code: VDAY at checkout. Be sure to use all caps.
And, once you’ve read the book, please come back and tell us about your success!
You go girl!

Why WOMEN Cheat

Dr. Miner — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 10:48:58 +0000

We weren’t expecting to like this article, but actually – it provided some interesting insight. The article focuses on 5 women who cheated on their spouses and what they learned from their affairs. Some of the lessons learned can go both ways:
- Unhappiness in a marriage is not caused by one person (my wife never fill-in-the-blank)
- Poor communication and the failure to set boundaries or limits can cause one spouse to resent the other – without the other one even knowing it
- An affair is often the “way” someone is able to end a bad marriage – but they don’t end up with the person they had the affair with (so where does that leave you?)
- Often, if a couple gets counseling they realize what is wrong with their marriage, that the affair exposed (so where does that leave you?)

What the guy thinks

Dr. Miner — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 12:33:43 +0000

Here is some interesting insight in to what the man-half of your relationship is thinking…

Affair ended and feeling so depressed

iwtmo — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 13:41:18 +0000

I had this long distance affair/relationship that lasted for almost 5 years. I know this will sound weird but we’ve known each other since high school that’s why it was so easy to connect with him and carryon a relationship even on a long distance situation. Even if we don’t see each other personally and no physical contact, the connection and emotions were so real. I knew that he is married and I, on the other hand had problems with my own marriage at that time. I am now separated for about 2 years already. About a month ago, he told me thru text message that he is ending the relationship. During the 5-year relationship, I’ve tried so many times to prepare myself for this thing to happen. There were number of times when he said goodbye, but after few months, he would call again and back in our relationship. I thought I got used to this situation already, but somehow I feel and I know that this time its for good and it’s devastating. I know this is the right thing to do but moving on is so hard for me. I get depressed, feeling alone and rejected. I thought the breakup of this kind of relationship won’t be as hard but it is. I am embarassed to confide and tell this to my friends as I pretty much know what to expect. I feel so alone and devastated. I am trying my best to move on and to not get caught in this situation again, but I am struggling. I hope someone can help me ease the pain and loneliness.

Why do men cheat? Interviews with the men

Dr. Miner — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 13:37:04 +0000

This little video is probably more helpful for a wife to watch, than “the other woman” but we particularly like the first man interviewed who basically blames it on the other woman for “being available.” It’s akin to “why did you climb the mountain? because it was there.”

Monthly Wrap Up of Who is Having Affairs – and Why

Dr. Miner — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 22:05:11 +0000

Here are some interesting factoids from our monthly review of Ending My Affair survey respondents:
- Of the last 25 women who filled out our survey, the oldest was 50 and the youngest was 30 – most are in the 36 – 47 range.
- The men are evenly split between their 30′s and their 40′s
- Although the most popular way to meet is still at work – some of the more interesting ways folks have met include:
= a relative (?!)
= met at a party – he was my boss 25 years earlier
= went to high school together / he was my first love
= hired him for a job

- Still, overwhelmingly, the women know he is married before they start the affair – this statistic has not changed since we started our survey
- For the FIRST time the “still involved” metric has outpaced the “our affair is over” metric. Hmmmm
- Still consistent: Most of the men were married over 11 years before the start of their affair
- Ninety percent of the men have had at least one other affair; 46% have had at least 2 prior affairs
- Twenty-eight percent of our respondents (women) have had at least one other affair

- Our favorite recent response of when he said he would leave his wife: When everything falls in to place.

Well, that’s specific, isn’t it?